Sumer Melon Granita

Note the gratuitous berry garnish (optional)

Cook Time: 40 minutes (plus freezing time)

Cost: 10 bucks

Ingredients:

3 cups of cubed melon (1 1/2 c honeydew, 1 1/2 c cantaloupe)

1 1/2 c apple juice

1 1/2 c water

1/2 c sugar (or a bit more/less depending on the sweetness of your fruit)

1 tsp vanilla extract

Full disclosure: I'm lactose intolerant.  So that means every time I make an ice cream, mac and cheese or cream-based soup/sauce, my digestive system pays for it dearly later that night....and the next morning, and the next afternoon.  So here's a simple, sweet treat that is thankfully lactose free.

1. In a deep pot, combine the apple juice, water, sugar and vanilla.  Bring the liquid to a gentle simmer until the sugar dissolves.

2. After the sugar dissolves, add the cubed melon and continue to simmer until the melon softens, about 5 minutes or so.  At this point, the bright green honeydew will dull in color.  Be prepared, it doesn't look too pretty.  Teacher tip: I know, I always buy a honeydew or other melon and can never eat enough in one sitting, so I bag up the leftover cubes and freeze them.  The melon I used here were previously frozen so I just plopped the thawed melon into the pot and simmered until they were thoroughly thawed through.

3. Take the pot off the heat and allow to cool, about 20 minutes or so.  Then, use an immersion blender to blend the melon mixture until smooth.  You really want to get it as smooth as possible.  At this point, you may want to taste test your warm melon mixture to make sure it's the right sweetness -- some fruit is sweeter than others based on the season and other variables.

4.  Let this mixture cool a bit.  It's probably best to let it sit in the fridge for a few hours or overnight.  Then, pour it into a 9x13 cake pan and place in the freezer overnight. (Yep, that's two days).

5. When you're ready to serve, scrape over the frozen mixture with a spoon creating soft, fluffy, shaved-ice like crystals.  Place in a glass and serve -- your tummy will thank you later.

Surf and Turf Mac and Cheese

Cook time: 2.5 hours (no joke)
Cost: 30 bucks (plus)

Ingredients

*note - makes 12 servings.  12 "normal people" or about 4 Lims

1/2 loaf of French bread, cut into 1/4 in. cubes -- about 2 c of cubes

drizzle of olive oil

1 1/2 c grated Gruyere cheese (reserve 1/2 c)

2 c grated white cheddar cheese (reserve 1/2 c)

2 c grated mild yellow cheddar cheese (reserve 1/2 c)

1/3 c parmesan (preferably shaved, but you know how it goes)

5 1/2 c milk (use whole milk, go for the gold)

6 tbs + 1 tbs butter

1/2 c flour

8 oz lobster meat

5 slices of good quality bacon, sliced into bits

1 medium shallot, diced

1 lb of pasta (spiral, elbow or anything else a 6 year old would create art out of)

2 green onions, sliced

So cooking like a teacher usually means quick, simple, everyday ingredients.  But teachers really like to cut loose.  Just check out a school the day before summer vacation starts.  Mr. Lim is definitely more psyched than little Johnny or Timmy.  So here's an indulgence for a day like that.  It's based on a Martha Stewart recipe, but only in broad strokes -- I've definitely personalized it to be my own.
This is grown up, no holds barred, doing your waistline no favors mac and cheese. 

I'm talking Paula Deen pre-Diabetes.  

It's also quite a bit of a time investor.  It will legit take about 2-3 hours from start to table so get that early 90s playlist ready, you'll be in for the long haul.

1. Prepare the breadcrumbs. Preheat oven to 275.  Take the french bread (best if it's a day or so old so it's not too soft) and cube the slices.  Each cube should be about the size of a Monopoly-standard die.

 Spread the cubes on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and a little salt and pepper.  Put them in the oven for about 20 minutes, shaking them around after about 10.  When they're done, set them aside and turn the oven up to 375.

 2. Prepare your baking dish.  Butter a 9x13 pan with 1 tbs butter.  Since I planned on having this as my main course, I also buttered 2 French Onion soup bowls for a nice presentation.  Set aside (remember to keep it away from the oven/stove so the butter doesn't melt)

Teacher tip: Use a paper towel to help facilitate the buttering and to keep your hands non-greasy.

3. Prepare the cheese sauce.  Okay kids, here's where things get complicated.  You'll need two big, deep pots going simultaneously. 

a. In one, heat the milk over medium heat.  Don't bring it to a boil.  When you boil milk weird things happen.  Keep it at the point where steam is swirling around the top.  When this happens, turn the heat to low.

b. Meanwhile, in the other pot, heat the 6 tbs. of butter over medium.  Teacher tip: Slice the pats of butter into cubes so it melts faster and evenly. When the butter is nice and melted and bubbling, add the 1/2 c of flour.  This is the roux.  Stir, stir, stir.  

c. Stir the roux until it's a nice golden brown, probably about 5-8 minutes -- it should smell sort of like nutty, baked bread.  Carefully pour in the steaming milk, whisking as you do.  At this point, it may help to have a helper assist you with the mixing/pouring.

d. Stir, stir, stir.  Stir until the milk bubbles and thickets and richly coats the back of a wooden spoon.  If you shirk your stirring duties, it will burn and you'll have solid burnt bits -- not good.  Voila, this is a bechemel sauce.  Turn the heat off of the sauce.

e. Add the Gruyere and cheddar cheeses, keep the 1/2 cup of each aside for later.  Toss in a generous pinch of salt and a healthy does of black pepper.  Stir, stir stir.  You should a have a buttery colored, gloriously thick cheese sauce.  Pour into a bowl and set aside.  It's ok for this to cool down substantially.  There are a lot of steps before we come back to the sauce so let it hang.

4. Prepare the surf and turf.  Clean out both pots you just used.  You're going to use both of them again.  Again simultaneously.  Cooking like a teacher means maximizing efficiency.  

a. Okay, in one pot, heat up the bacon.  Render it down until it starts to get just slightly crispy but definitely not crunchy yet.  Teacher tip: fold up a paper towel and swivel it around the pan to absorb the excess fat. 

b. Add the shallots into the bacon and saute until the shallots become translucent.  Notice the tea lights. Shallots, like onions, release a tear-inducing vapor so some well-placed tea lights help reduce the crying. 

c. Add the lobster.  Okay, this might be a bit contentious.  I used frozen lobster, most certainly a Top Chef no-no, but hey, I'm not made of money.  Even then, it cost almost 20 bucks.  You can certainly use fresh lobster if you have access to it.  Or, you can use crabmeat which is substantially cheaper.  Or you can just leave it out.  You'd have to rename it "Turf Mac and Cheese" which sounds like the secret ingredient is lawn clippings.

Anyway the lobster I used was already cooked so I just tossed it around the pan to heat it up.  Then, add the cheese sauce to the surf/turn mixture and stir.  Turn the heat off and let it hang out.

d. Now cook your pasta.  I used spirals because elbow macaroni just seemed too pedestrian.  Strain it out while it's still slightly undercooked (even more undercooked than al dente) as it will continue to cook in the oven.  As you drain off the water, rinse it in cool water to ensure it doesn't overcook.

e. Mix the pasta with the cheese/meat mixture.  It may help to do it in batches because it can be damn bulky.

5. Prepare to bake! Pour the mac into your buttered dishes (aforementioned French onion bowls pictured).  Spread the reserved Gruyere/cheddar over the top.

Then spread the breadcrumbs/croutons over the top.  You may be wondering, can't I just skip this stupid bread step?  Well, if you don't vary the texture, the mac and cheese has a tendency to taste sort of gluey so the croutons give it a nice crunch.  Scatter the parmesan over the top of the croutons.

Bake in the preheated oven for about 30 minutes until it's bubbly and you can't take it anymore.  Top it off with the sliced green onions.  Prepare for oohs and ahs.

Super Simple Asian Summer Slaw

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cost: 7 bucks

Slaw

1/2 head of a medium sized cabbage

1/2 red bell pepper, thinly sliced

1/4 red onion, thinly sliced

2 green onions, sliced on a bias

1 carrot, peeled and grated

handful of cilantro, chopped

1/4 c chopped, crushed peanuts

Dressing

1/4 c rice wine vinegar

1/2 tsp toasted sesame seed oil

1/2 tsp olive oil

1 tbs sugar

juice of half a lime

dash of red chili flakes

garlic clove, peeled and grated

pinch of salt, dash of pepper

Believe you me, I'm familiar with Asian summers.  Mostly, however, this meant Slip and Slides in the backyard and something my sister and I invented called "Fruit Ball" where we would take turns tossing perfectly good fruit at one another and hitting them with a softball bat. 

Fast forward about 20 years and summers now are a bit different.  In planning a picnic for an outdoor concert, I wondered what would be a nice side dish.  I'm a big fan of mayo-based salads (or mayo-based anything for that matter) but mayo tends to turn shiny and unappetizing in the 100-degree heat, so in this case something tart and sweet and decidedly non-congealed is in order.

1. Cut the cabbage in half.  Cut a V-shaped notch in the bottom to remove the woody stem.

2. Grate 2/3 of the cabbage.  If you grate the whole thing, it'll have a very fine texture which is okay, but if you give 1/3 of the cabbage a nice, chunky chop, it'll give the salad a little heft and also vary the texture so you're not chewing all soft bits.  Put the cabbage in a bowl (obvi).  Notice the towel under the cutting board to prevent slippage

Picture 1 -- chopped.  Picture 2 -- grated.

3. Now slice up the next 5 ingredients in the slaw list.  You can arrange them into needlessly neat piles like I did or just dump them in the bowl.

It's really hard to measure cilantro.  I just grab a sizeable bunch with my hands. Ignore the wallet in the corner.

4. Next, mix all the ingredients in the dressing list.  I like to have a nice garlicky bite but I don't like chewable chunks of raw garlic so I grate a whole clove right into the dressing.  Give it a nice, thorough whipping.

5. Toss the dressing with the slaw and let it sit in the fridge.  The longer it sits the tastier it gets so feel free and let it hang out while Idina Menzel gets the Ravinia stage warmed up.  Garnish with the peanuts.

It also tastes super great on fajitas -- no need to bring all those toppings (the lettuce, the onion, the blah blah blah), just pack some slaw and pile it high. 

Strawberry Ganache Ice Cream

Prep time: about 2 hours (then it needs to freeze overnight)

Cost: 10 bucks

Nothing says summer like 'ice cream'.  Actually, nothing says summer like 100 degree heat, sweating, and kids running around with nothing better to do...and ice cream.  The beauty of owning an ice cream maker is you can pretty much just shove whatever you want into the machine and out pops a magical frozen treat.  This one starts off with a custard base and involves a lot of sieves so keep 'em handy.  I used mostly whole milk so I can laughingly tell myself it's better than using full on whipping cream (note the addition of half and half because I'm not totally insane).

Ingredients:
8 egg yolks
1 c sugar (2 tsp reserved for strawberries)
pinch of salt
2 c whole milk
1 1/2 c half and half (reserve 1/2 c for ganache)
1 tsp vanilla
1 c of strawberries, hulled and sliced
  3 bittersweet chocolate baking squares

 1. Sprinkle the 2 tsp of sugar on the strawberries and mash them in a bowl.  They'll probably be really juicy so I strained out the juice.  Set aside.

 2. Whisk the first two ingredients together.  It should have a thick, gluey texture

3. Separate the egg yolks.  There are all sorts of ways to do this.  I prefer just to get down and dirty and use my hands.  Crack and egg in your hands (over a bowl to catch the whites) then put the yolk in a separate bowl.  Save the egg whites for an egg white omelet the morning after you come out of your ice cream coma.

4. Combine the next three ingredients in a pot over medium heat.  Don't burn it. Stir often. Stay close.  Now is not the time to contemplate your Words with Friends move.  You can figure out that massive triple word score in a minute.  As the milk barely starts to bubble, turn the heat down.

5. Now its time to temper the egg yolks.  Think of it like this. You've just drawn a nice hot bath.  Imagine the pain and suffering if you jumped in all at once. No no, you must dip a toe in first, then slowly get in.  Now that you have the rather disturbing image of me getting into a bubble bath, let's move on.

If you put all yolks in the boiling cream all at once it'll ruin it so just don't do it.  Instead, take about a 1/2 cup of the cream and whisk it into the egg yolks.  Then add another 1/2 cup.  By now, the yolks are nicely tempered and you can pour the whole thing back into the pot with the hot cream.

6. Okay, turn the heat to medium.  If you thought the boiling cream was high-maintenance, this part is one needy beyotch.  Do not leave this custard alone.  You wouldn't leave a 2-year old unattended right?  Same thing here.  Keep stirring in a zig-zaggy, figure M pattern.  If you don't, the milk/egg solids will collect at the bottom and burn.  This could take a while, probably like 15 minutes over a medium-low heat.  Now would be a good time to stare at your stove and contemplate things like "When will Martha Stewart notice my brilliant and insightful blog?".

You'll know it's done when it coats the back of a wooden spoon -- like cough syrup-style

 7. Dunzo. Great. Is it burned?  I hope not. Now pour the custard into a fine sieve to filter out any of the milky/yolky bits that might have formed.  Boom, done.  This is your basic custard recipe.  You could add pretty much whatever you want, but since this is called "Strawberry Ganache", let's continue along that route.

Add 3/4 of your strawberry mush into the mixture.  Cover and refrigerate.  Let it chill until it's not scalding anymore (probably about 2 hours).  Now is a good time to play "qi" or "ka" or "za" on that triple word tile your opponent left foolishly open.

8. In the meanwhile you can prepare your ganche which is a fancy word for melted chocolate.  Place the 1/2 cup of half and half and the 3 bricks of chocolate in a metal bowl over barely simmering water.  Fancy people call this a double boiler.  I call it a bowl over simmering water.  Chocolate is also notoriously needy.  Make sure the bowl is super dry before you put anything in.  Make sure the water is barely bubbling.  If any water or liquid (other than dairy) gets into the bowl the chocolate will seize up and, well, you'll just have to toss it.

After a few minutes it'll look like this.  Let this hot chocolate cool

9. Once the custard is cool, pour it into your machine.  Here's me pouring.  Turn that puppy on!

10.  After about 20 minutes, it'll start to look frothy and slushy.  At this point, stream in about 1/4 c of your ganache.  The ice cream will take on a light brown color.  Let the machine whirl for another 10 minutes or so.

11. Recycle tip!  Reduce your carbon footprint!  Wash out a store bought ice cream container for your creation. 

Now layer about 1 1/2 cups of the ice cream in the bottom.  Then drizzle a little of your ganache and about a tablespoon of the leftover strawberry mixture.  Repeat.  It should have a very wobbly, slushy texture.  Put the lid on and freeze overnight (or until solid) OR you could just eat it slushy-like if you're super impatient.

Done!  I recommend eating it on a sunny day at a window sill, as pictured above.