Homestyle Biscuits and Gravy

Cook time: 20 minutes
Cost: 8 dollars

Ingredients:
Store bought biscuits (maybe one day when I have gobs of time they'll be from scratch)
3 patties of sausage (approx. 1/4 pound or 4 links, skin removed)
1 tbs butter
1 1/2 tbs flour
1/2 c half and half
1/2 c whole milk
1/2 tbs cracked black pepper
pinch of salt
2 sliced green onions (optional)

So "Homestyle" is a bit of a misnomer.  I don't think my mom ever made this at home.  Instead, we had fluffed steamed egg and eggplant cooked in preserved tofu.  But this is the kind of thing that requires the genteel mindset of a southern plantation with sweet tea and a southern drawl.

1.  If you're making your biscuits from a can, pop them in the oven now.  If you're making them from scratch, godspeed.

In a medium pot cook down the sausage over high heat.  You can pretty much use any kind of sausage from fancy Whole Foods organic sustainable mulch-fed or Jimmy Dean.  Cheap ass me chose the latter.

Try and keep the pieces pretty large -- don't break them up too much as they cook.

2. Once the sausage is cooked through and browned, drain it on a paper towel.  Of course, since I'm a fatty, I'm going to leave some of the drippings in the pot.

3. Notice the drippings in the pot.  Notice the brown bits at the bottom.  All this = tasty.  It also = clogged arteries so you can remove the rendered fat if you'd like.

Add in the butter and swish it around until it's completely melted.

4. Add in the flour and cook it up into a roux.  It'll become nice and caramel brown and smell like baking bread.  Probably one of my favorite smells ever (aside from fall-scented Bath and Body Works candles).

Notice -- nice, rich, caramel brown.

5.  Once the roux is bubbling, slowly add the milk.  Be careful as it can splash.  Whisk thoroughly as you add and continue to whisk over medium high heat until it becomes thick and bubbly, about 7 minutes.

6.  Finally, add the pepper and the salt and toss the drained sausage back in.  Turn the heat to low and let all the flavors come together for a minute or two. (Notice biscuits in the background)

Slice open a biscuit and drizzle with a generous amount of gravy.  Scatter green onions on top.  Extra, extra tasty with a nice shot of Siracha.

...And here's the same plate literally two seconds later...

Quick Cook Carbonara

Cook time: 20 minutes
Cost: 10 bucks

makes 4 servings

Ingredients:
3 slices of bacon, diced
4 large mushrooms, sliced thinly
1/2 onion, chopped
1/4 c frozen peas
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1/2 can of milk
15 oz of pasta, spaghetti or fettuccini  (or a reasonable amount for 4 people)

So I'm totally not above shortcuts.  I mean, certainly at some point, I might make a carbonara from scratch with the cream and the egg yolk and the mess and the exorbitant spending, but not on a Friday night after a long week of dealing with work bs.  Enter Campbells Cream of Mushroom soup mix, the savior I had been praying for.  Soup mixes are great sauce bases, just use half a can of milk for a creamy sauce -- plus you get all that delicious sodium and preservatives as a bonus!

1.  I'm pretty sure half of my previous recipes started with bacon.  Well, here's another one.  Slice up 3 slices of bacon and render in a hot pan.  Sometimes you want bacon soft (if it's going to continue to flavor a soup) but you want to go ahead and get this bacon nice and crispy.  Remove the bits and drain on a towel.

2.  Okay, this next step will vary depending on whether you want to go Paula Deen pre- or post- diabetes.  If pre (aka, full flavor/fat/deliciousness), leave the bacon grease in; if post (aka health pill spokesmanship), blot or drain out the grease -- and be a big party pooper.

Either way, toss in your mushrooms and onions.  You'll want to add the peas a bit later, but some of them escaped into the pan early.

3.  Once the veggies are browned, stir in the garlic.  After about a minute, add in the can of soup and the 1/2 can of milk and bring to a simmer.  Toss in the frozen peas.  Mix in the bacon bits, reserving 2 tablespoons for garnish.

Turn the heat to low and let it gently simmer while you prepare the pasta.

4.  I'm pretty sure you know how to prepare pasta but here's a picture to retain paralellism throughout the steps.  Be sure and salt/oil your water to give it a bit of seasoning.

Also, sometimes you want the pasta to be al dente (slightly undercooked) but since we aren't bringing it back to heat, you want it to be cooked all the way through.

5.  Now assemble each serving.  And that's it!  Top it off with some of the bacon bits and you're good to go.